Source
By Carlos Rodriguez
Amidst the silver
bullet my head and heart spin
Finding source
I can only look at
the eyes of strangers
Children of the
world
Most invigorating
city on earth
Help Me!
Source my life in
the energy of your life
Source my hope in
the opening of your wounds
Teach me the ways of
the hidden language you only speak in the pauses between your words
Silence me with the
beauty evaporating from your retinas
Lift me with the
hands of your forefathers and foremothers:
Jews, Russians,
Albanians, Irish, German, French, Colombian, Eritrean, Indian, Australian,
Iranian, Spanish, Puerto Rican, Dominican, and so many more
Sacred Spaces of
this city overwhelming me with spirit
Spirit forgotten
built over by castles of Gold
Hearts turned into
rock
Caring only about
profit
Men without shoes
walk the subway
Children without
hope line the schools
Some stars are
lifted while others are covered by carcasses of old monsters
Speaking to me in
tounges of perseverance, callouses of history
Spirit of Hope
arriving on the island off this City
Converting me
transforming me expanding me
Spirit of this
City---Where will you call me?
Heart ready to
stretch with that of others
Expanding circle of
compassion---hidden voices----shadow stories
Lifted up source
becoming source
One source all of us
lifted beyond potential
One subway ride at a
time.
Santiago, Chile to
Los Angeles, California, and then to Mexico and then to New York City. This
poem comes at the end of what felt like a very long slide of life. In Santiago
I wrapped up my experience and then I was in Los Angeles--discovered once again
the beauty of an incredible family, engaged with Loyola Marymount, one of the
roots of my story, was nurtured by companions in the spirit, and then worked at
Loyola High School engaging my love and gift for ministry. After that I went to
Mexico saw my grandfather's grave, caressed and loved my sick grandmother, and
connected with my little cousins, now mostly teenagers, who I had last seen
when they where kids.
After all this I
moved to New York City to start graduate school--an occurrence once thought
unimaginable. After a month in New York and three weeks at NYU I can begin to
say that I am falling into some sort of rhythm that feels more consistent which
I welcome with open arms after the last couple of years. This consistency seems exciting. And yet
after my brief time living in New York the biggest thing I have learned is that
New York City is the most inconsistent and most exciting place on earth. Maybe
I will find peace in the inconsistency---something that is always there in life
but that sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking we can plan around. Let me
tell you there are stories from my Peruvian plumber Carlos who saved me from my
first apartment disaster, to heartbreak around every corner and joy across
every street, from Albanian immigrants travelling thousands of miles to veteran
classmates opening up their stories to me, from one to the other holy stories
because they are human stories have the potential of meeting me anywhere and at
anytime in New York City.
Hoping to balance the time spent between academics, the
engaging with these stories, and the time to source them into my heart and
reflect upon my life, Friends of the world, I ask for your prayers in this hard
journey and promise to go more into depth about my sacred time in New York in
later blog posts. As for now I am just happy that I was finally able to sit still enough to write
and take in the beauty of it all swirling around me in the city that never
sleeps.
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